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Don't lie to me. Don't wear your pitiful little mask around in front of me i saw right through it. Don't tell me what i want to hear and don't tell me what i need to hear! Hit me with cold hard reality nonstop let it rip away my flesh, my bone, my very soul. Let it rip me apart so that i can strengthen myself heal my wounds and become stronger so strong that i rewrite reality ill rewrite it to fit my desires, my needs, and my soul and when you hit me with reality again it will bounce off like nothing!...

The music plays, and the blades dance. Spilling blood on the floor as I'm frozen in a trance. Cutting pain away as i slash down, and another life drowns. cutting my soul away with every slash. As my 2 raging spirits clash one fun and optimistic the psychotic and pessimistic. You look out in the world in a see of red until the last cut sends you off to bed.


(oh i don't cut blades were metaphorical. Or rather emotional)

i haven't written a blog in a while. Haven't really been on AU actually. I have been busy with life really. I got a new girl and she is amazing hahaha. sorry but my optimism is at its peek so i am overly happy. only bad thing is everything i own decided to fall apart today really. A button on my jacket the ligature on my sax broke and i lost my neck strap. so the world hasn't liked me really but its ok because i improvised. Live has been stressful as always and i have had lodes of crap to do (like...

Accidents happen every 1 knows this but they really really suck. Recently i was the cause of an accident in the band room where the bell of a trumpet was slightly bent. The parents of the player wants me to pay for it and i get it I'm not against it. It just sucks with people in my section not listing to me piled on top of school work piled on top of family shit and now this. I am just FML like right now and really really pissy. sigh I'm going to pay for the repair of the trumpet even if it...

So i lost something for my band class or at least i thought i did i looked everywhere for it and was made more and more angry until when i finally gave up i walked away cussing up a storm and sad to say a "parent" heard me. So my TEACHER decided to get on me about it and he tells me "not to get angry not over something like this" haha and the FING funny part is he had it. because i left it he took it and hid it. i got it back later along with a lecture and punishment. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!...