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Im suddenly overwhelmingly depressed so depressed in fact that it caused me to put on my mask of apathy and causes my heart to hurt in my chest its for a stupid reason but i just wanted to tell some people that im very depressed thats all.

Ah so normal day been ok hanging around my friends and all that jazz. then i get to my psych class and me and my friends (which included my ex) are talking and me and my ex start to talk. i then make a joke that waa she broke up with my cuz i acted more redneck then previous years i wasn't serious but w/e that doesn't matter. she then replays with "no that isn't the reason and you should shut up before i lay it on you" i reply with "no go ahead lay it on me I've been wanting to know...

i never forced you and i never lied to make you give me your soul. I'm just one of those green eyed devils with a charming grin and when you lost you payed the toll. i smiled real wide and i looked you in the eyes said a few words then you were mine. then i dragged you down to a place of fire where the sun never will shine. Because im the kind of guy that knows just what to say. people are my expertise and there is no one better then me. you'll play my game and lose in a day it always ends the same....

A stressful downward spiral leading to depression, a lack in self confidence, loneliness, and plummeting grades. However now as i sit here alone in the empty darkness with no one but myself to hold what troubles me i find my old self smiling. He and i both know what i must do to get back to a place where my parents can be proud. So i breath in the dark and let the day soak in to my mind, my skin, and whats left of my fractured soul. I let my manipulative brain go to work. I let my sadist self laugh...

Im caught in the storm known as life. but im too stubborn to end it like i have wished to at times. And Sadly the walls known as willpower that have kept able to go threw the razor like winds that are the trials that i go threw is now wearing thin. Im reverting back to a way i was back when i was heartless, because i gave her my heart. but now im alone again and id rather not accept my heart back she is the one that made it what it is anyway so let her keep it. id rather go back to my cold self....