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Old January 12, 2012   #1
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Default His Story: Confusion & Confrontation [Poem] (4)

This is the 4th part to the Narrative Poem Series, His Story, that I have been working on.
If you have have not already checked out the first three parts, here are links to them.
Part 1: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
Part 2: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
Part 3: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

Listen to this as your read: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

> At this point in the poem series with the introduction of new characters I have now began to refer to the main character as “Him” with a capital ‘H’ and His beloved as “Her” with a capital ‘H’. If “him” or “her” shows up in the story then it is not referring to the main character or His beloved.

Enjoy & comment!

His Story: Confusion & Confrontation

The Beast Man gripped His throat tightly
Attempting to squeeze the life out of Him
Each gazing into one another’s eyes
For what seemed like hours
Days, months, maybe even years
Those blood red eyes…

He felt Himself slipping out of consciousness
His pulse began to grow faint
He looked up at the ceiling
Still showing no sign of resistance
All the thoughts that haunted Him
Were still in His mind
Weakening him…

But then a gleaming thought came to Him
Who else would finish this mission?
Who else would save Her?
Who else could fix this demented world?
With all the evil that roamed it
With the enemy still causing death & destruction

He knew what saving Her meant
He knew his journey couldn’t stop here
This world would have hope
It would have a future
And He would ensure it
Through Her & with Her
No matter what…

His eyes began to glow
And with what strength He had
Cocked back His knee
Then delivered a blow
Straight into the Beast Man’s stomach
Pushing it as far as it would go in

The Beast Man staggered for a moment
Then He struck him in the throat
Which caused the Beast Man’s grip to release Him
He saw His opportunity
Then as He fell to the ground
He took a deep breath
And prepared himself

He chanted a spell
Which consumed His hands with energy
An energy that glowed fiercely
Then he followed with a quick stance
The Beast Man glared at Him
Then also took a stance
And smirked as the Beast Man’s hands began emitting a strange aura
He could see his swords lying behind the Beast Man…

They gazed into each other’s eyes
One last time
Then both leapt towards each other
And in one strike
And a flare of light
The fight was over

Both had their backs to the other now
The Beast Man smirked
Then stood straight up
And immediately fell to the ground
On to his knees, shocked…
Snarling & angry the Beast Man screamed
Then fell dead

All the while He was looking over his shoulder
Making sure the Beast Man was dead
Then grabbed His two swords
And ran through the busted door of his room
Still having questions in His mind
Curious as to what exactly had happened…

As he made his way out into the main room
All he saw was destruction and broken down walls
Alarmed & now frustrated
He heard another scream
Followed by an explosion right outside
Then hurried to the scene

And what laid before His eyes was this…
A tall, dark figure in armor wearing a hood
That disguised his identity
With a long saber strapped on his back
Stepping on His best friend’s chest
Who was visibly struggling
And had received much damage

The were more of the Beast Men
Many more of them
Scattered throughout the site
Now all glaring at Him
With their blood red eyes
Displaying a strong desire to kill Him

As He continued to scan the area
He saw blood…
And not just blood, but bodies
The bodies of the kind woman’s family
The very ones who had helped Him
Given him a chance to relax
To think things over
And here they lie before Him
Dead…

The kind woman lay on the ground
Crippled with tears flowing down her eyes
Screaming as multiple Beast Men surrounded her
He could not believe his eyes…
And as He stood in a trance of disbelief
The tall, dark figure looked in His direction
As if staring into His very soul

*In his mind

He knew it & felt it strongly…
She would not be able to aid Him this time
He could barely feel Her presence
There would be no miracle to rely on this time
No power to save these people from their deaths
Which also meant if He were to die this time
Not even He would be saved by Her
And He knew it…

The tall, dark figure pointed at Him
This signal caused a number of the Beast Men to lunge towards Him
And as He stood there in a trance
He struggled with how to handle the situation
And could think of nothing else
But to draw His swords
And take a valiant stance
As the Beast Men drew ever so closer…

His two swords began to glow intensely
Then He widened his stance
Put His swords in a long position
As far stretched out from Him as possible
And as the several Beast Men were within arms reach
He chanted a powerful spell
Blazing in a spinning whirlwind of energy
And rushing toward the tall, dark figure

This led to the Beast Men falling out of the air
Slashed in multiple areas
And dead in what seemed like an instant
Yet the tall, dark figure held his position
And pulled out his saber
Then stopped His whirlwind attack

But He had accomplished what He wanted
His best friend was freed from being crushed
Then with His sword of light
He chanted a spell
Causing it to shine extremely bright & blinding
And as the tall, dark figure looked away
He swiftly moved in to grab & secure His best friend

His best friend was now losing consciousness
But smiled at Him
To show he was in no danger of dying
Reassured He laid His best friend beside Him gently
And stood up to confront the tall, dark figure
Who was now staring at Him
Again as if looking into His soul

Then the tall, dark figure laughed
And told Him that tonight would be a night He would not forget
The night when He would see the other side of Himself
The Dark side…
The one that could so easily turn against His own morals & values
And serve the enemies evil intentions
To eventually destroy this world

As they stood staring at one another
His anger began to grow
At this point His best friend was unconscious
And under the glistening moonlight
He charged toward the tall, dark figure
Who was now in a unique stance
Raising his long saber high in the air

He knew not what lay ahead
Nor did He know how this battle was going to test Him
And force Him to confront His other self
As He continued charging toward the tall, dark figure
His dark sword began to shine unusually brighter
Unknown to Him
On this moonlit night that He would never forget…

Last edited by Mugetsu; January 13, 2012 at 06:09 AM.
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Old January 12, 2012   #2
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WOW your cliffhangers are always perfect.. his powers had a great discription too...this part of the story really lifted my mood n i needed that Mugetsu :)
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Old January 12, 2012   #3
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Okay first I notice some forgotten words towards the end
2) I like the fact that he was able to save his friend and his friend gave him that smile of I'm okay go get them and save your girl
3) I love the figure cloaked and shaded in darkness and the Beast man leader telling and daring Him to attack and then telling him that he is about to face the darkness that we all carry in our hearts. We may not always see it but it is there and that this will be one of his greatest battles to save his beloved because if he gives in there will be no way for him to save her. The fact that the stranger could see into his soul makes me ask if the stranger isn't him and just the dark part of him that he denies thus his sword is glowing bright than the light sword that I take for hope and the dark sword death and despair. Then there is the fact that even though He can still sense Her He can also tell that she is fading so you have a sense of desperation to find her now. But I can't wait till the next part to see if he gives into the darkness or if he can battle it and win
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Old January 12, 2012   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShodinWarrior View Post
WOW your cliffhangers are always perfect.. his powers had a great discription too...this part of the story really lifted my mood n i needed that Mugetsu :)
Hehe thank you I really appreciate that. I'm glad my story could lift your spirits.

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Originally Posted by GunSlinger View Post
Okay first I notice some forgotten words towards the end
2) I like the fact that he was able to save his friend and his friend gave him that smile of I'm okay go get them and save your girl
3) I love the figure cloaked and shaded in darkness and the Beast man leader telling and daring Him to attack and then telling him that he is about to face the darkness that we all carry in our hearts. We may not always see it but it is there and that this will be one of his greatest battles to save his beloved because if he gives in there will be no way for him to save her. The fact that the stranger could see into his soul makes me ask if the stranger isn't him and just the dark part of him that he denies thus his sword is glowing bright than the light sword that I take for hope and the dark sword death and despair. Then there is the fact that even though He can still sense Her He can also tell that she is fading so you have a sense of desperation to find her now. But I can't wait till the next part to see if he gives into the darkness or if he can battle it and win
Hehe thanks for the in-depth review. Sounds like you got a lot out of my poem. Great observations too.
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Old January 12, 2012   #5
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The vagueness really adds to the poetic effect and the dual split personality thing is cool.
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Old January 12, 2012   #6
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Originally Posted by dragonwate View Post
The vagueness really adds to the poetic effect and the dual split personality thing is cool.
Thanks, glad to see you caught onto those in my poem.
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Old January 12, 2012   #7
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LOL You should know I feel the need to say a bunch about your poems and I was reading it there at the end and was like uhh he oops there should be a few words here.
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Old January 12, 2012   #8
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Originally Posted by GunSlinger View Post
LOL You should know I feel the need to say a bunch about your poems and I was reading it there at the end and was like uhh he oops there should be a few words here.
Wait what are you talking about? What words do you think are missing??
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Old January 12, 2012   #9
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i forgot to mention the song set the perfect theme!! especially for the scene with all the bodies.... did you have a song in the previous parts?
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Old January 12, 2012   #10
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Wait what are you talking about? What words do you think are missing??
I think she was talking about you adding another person because you said Him and Her are the main character and his girlfriend
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