- Here To Help - [Poem]

[Vezzel]

a life lived for others, i understood everything this poem says, im like that too, the feeling of recieving gratitude is the only reward we need, it hurts sometimes because people like me or u tend to be used by others who act like "friends" but the thing it matters is that we know we r doing the right thing.
i was able to relate myself with everything, great poem jess!!

[Mugetsu]

Originally Posted by Nya

Your poem reminds me of the poem i posted but of course yours is worded differently, is longer and is way better quality :D

Thanks for your kind feedback I appreciate it and glad you liked my poem.

Originally Posted by YeahRIP

Nicely Done. It's refreshing to see an ordinary person writing with a positive undertone about something. Normally it's "In the bleak, lifeless valleys of my desolate heart/Solitude dwells, tearing my soul like a finger on a thornbush" or some more look-at-the-hard-life-I'm-Living typ' a' crap.

From a strictly poetic perspective, I'll ask whether you intended to have continuous enjambment between the verses, or did you forget to put the punctuation in (except on the rule-of-three bits)? At certain moments, it felt like punctuation could create a stronger impact on the feelings you were trying to convey. Just my two cents... Anyway, great stuff! Live by your code, and you might just inspire someone :D

Thanks I really appreciate your in-depth feedback. I've been trying to stay away from the cliche topics that I've been noticing a lot of lately. As for your question, I intended to have continuous enjambment. Didn't really have a persistent structure to this one, although I do agree if I would have focused on it more and added specific punctuations that it would have been better.

Nonetheless, again, thank you for your feedback I really appreciated it.

Originally Posted by Vezzel

a life lived for others, i understood everything this poem says, im like that too, the feeling of recieving gratitude is the only reward we need, it hurts sometimes because people like me or u tend to be used by others who act like "friends" but the thing it matters is that we know we r doing the right thing.
i was able to relate myself with everything, great poem jess!!

Thanks for understanding Marce, glad you like this one and could relate to it and me.

[Reese220]

That was a very nice poem Mug. Heart warming, and it
really does remind me of you and what you've done for me.

Thanks for writing it

[Summer]

Very nice poem Jesse :)
I loved it >.<, an this do describe you a lot

[Kiririn]

Very good read!
Thank you for sharing this with us Mugetsu!
It really got me thinking about things and made me think of ways to make myself into a better person by helping people out more...
Also as CureOne said

Originally Posted by CureOne

you were the first person to talk to me

You were also the first one totalk me when I made this account for that I thank you. :)

[Mugetsu]

Originally Posted by Reese220

That was a very nice poem Mug. Heart warming, and it
really does remind me of you and what you've done for me.

Thanks for writing it

Thanks Reese, I appreciate that and am glad I could have done something for you.

Originally Posted by Summer

Very nice poem Jesse :)
I loved it >.<, an this do describe you a lot

Hehe thank you very much for your kind feedback.

Originally Posted by Kiririn

Very good read!
Thank you for sharing this with us Mugetsu!
It really got me thinking about things and made me think of ways to make myself into a better person by helping people out more...
Also as CureOne said

You were also the first one totalk me when I made this account for that I thank you. :)

I appreciate your feedback and your welcome.

[ChibiHiTori9110]

That was a VERY well written poem. Really interested in reading more.